Life around here has been an adventure, to say the least. Having twice as many kids as we did six weeks ago is challenging but so rewarding.
I remember feeling very overwhelmed during the first few months of Briar’s life and now am wondering what in the world was I thinking?! Infants are a piece of cake! Ha! Actually, I know why the first baby is so hard: it’s the sudden loss of independence, the need to be hyper-vigilant about somebody else’s needs, oh, and the sleep deprivation (that one is still a doozy) that throws you for a loop. At least it did for me. I know a lot of new moms struggle with a sense of isolation and while I didn’t feel that emotion too often, I definitely felt a constant flood of other difficult feelings. I felt overwhelmed. I felt exhausted. I felt like I should have been enjoying every single moment when in reality, I loved my baby but I wasn’t in a permanent state of bliss. I desperately wanted to “enjoy every moment” like I was instructed to do, but as a first time mom, I always had my eye on the horizon for what was coming down the pike.
This time around, I’m not trying to enjoy every moment (is that even possible??) but as a result, I am enjoying A LOT more of the everyday experience than I did with Briar. I am loving this delicious newborn phase when all Landon does is eat, sleep, and poop. When he gets fussy and doesn’t want to be put down, I pick him up and cherish those snuggles instead of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated like I did the first time. Or better yet, I’ll get him in the wrap or Ergo and savor the closeness. (P.S. I tried to convince Briar to let me wear her in the Ergo to see if she still fit and she politely declined with a “no thanks.” Ha! When did she turn twelve?!)
This time around I’m also much more patient with how my body adjusts back to it’s normal self. When I had Briar, I was so concerned that all the postpartum discomforts and awkwardness would be my new way of life. With this second experience, I’m completely fascinated by how fast my body is healing itself and how quickly I’ve been able to jump back into normal life. I actually have much more energy now — sleep deprivation and all — than I did while pregnant! I am definitely nowhere near where I started and I may not get back there for awhile but I promise you, I am 100% okay with that. I plan on rocking my maternity clothes well into Landon’s first (second, third…) year of life! ;)
This past weekend I decided that we needed family photos, so with a little bribery for the two year old and a lot of sweat (why is so hot in November?!), I got my photos! As I go through them, I can’t help but smile over the tiny little people I get to call my kids. Motherhood is a wild ride.